Good Invokes Arson Burns Down Future
Burnin' mad Bob the backstabber sets fire to last shred of cred. OPINION
He lied about the ERA, guns, pledges, and bathrooms to hide his zero record of accomplishment; now, he lies about the consequences of being a liar. He got fired.
Not one to waste an opportunity to cover his shortcomings by lying about others, Bob Good takes to social media like Hillary Clinton, Stacy Abrams, Terry McAuliffe, Al Gore, and all the other losers. Good’s whole campaign strategy has been right out of the Democratic playbook—he stacked Unit Chairs, made local units an extension of his campaign, and misrepresented his opponent’s record to deflect his failure to produce any tangible accomplishment for the 5th District in 3.5 years. Now he is the victim and screaming election fraud and for investigations! Can it be any more pathetic? Didn’t his mommy teach him how to be a good loser?
His CONsultants, who channel cop killers and bank robbers as Bonnie and Clyde Strategies, looked sullen, scrounging for provisional votes at the precincts. It is clear those aren’t changing the numbers, and mail-ins due yesterday had no effect on the outcome. What now? Good turns to his Democrat playbook and channels his best Abrams/Clinton imitation railing against the system! Recount! Recount! “Three fires in one day!” It must be McGuire! “Investigations!” Claim Election fraud! Demand a recount! Bob is a victim! Send in the lawyers and the paid political hacks like Waverly Woods and Diana Shores! Invent problems, find a scapegoat, manufacture a Boogieman! It’s MINE MINE MINE!!!
I had to wait in line on the phone while the media was checking out Bob’s latest lie about fires. There were no fires. His paid hacks, the Shores, started rolling back the claim almost immediately. Too late. All three situations were debunked, and it's all over the media. I decided to wait to post this since they beat me to it. But what was funny is how everyone on both sides, Democrats and Republicans, immediately assumed Bob was lying again and fact-checked him.
Bob is shifting from blaming McGuire to blaming volunteer poll workers, Registrars, the Electoral Board, and the Department of Elections—everyone but himself. Bob is Al Gore, Hillary, and Stacy Abrams all wrapped up in one package.
Bob is a sore loser. On Monday, this primary will be Certified, and Bob is done. He will act out as the ungracious asshole we all know him to be. He is attacking Glen Youngkin today, and tomorrow, he will be back to attack Trump, who is returning to Virginia for another rally, which will be announced this week.
Bob is said to have lost his mind on Tuesday evening after the numbers came back from the Department of Elections, and he was behind. He began swearing and throwing things in the backroom of the Pizza Parlor where he was to hold his victory party and was hauled out the back door to avoid the press. Being the narcissist that he is, he never thanked his volunteers or made a statement for them to the media. He bailed for his own sake. That’s the kind of guy we fired.
Good is rumored to have a run for Lt. Governor as plan B, so he knew he was likely to lose. His chances at that are nill, but it will make for some fun blogs. Stay tuned, Bob’s Victim Theater is open for biz.
Five & Dime VA/HCC is an opinion blog. I employ satire, commentary, and fact to entertain and convey my opinions on religious, cultural, and political issues. I expect you to know the difference.
https://www.wset.com/news/local/investigating-rep-bob-goods-tweet-about-fires-at-virginia-5th-district-voting-precincts-albermarle-county-hanover-county-lynchburg-elections-june-2024
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